I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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