I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
