We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
