just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
