It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
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Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
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Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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