I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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