i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
