You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
