I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
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Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
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Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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