Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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