What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
