guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
