If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
