3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I know her cup size but not her name....
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