I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
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