Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer