i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
your like the ambassador to my penis.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine