I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.