nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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