His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
