3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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