Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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