i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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