just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
