sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
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If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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