wrigley field is MILF paradise
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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