ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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