who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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