Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
