Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
