Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
