i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
