can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
