dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
