I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
