just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
