Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
