id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
