You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We are all done wearing pants today
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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