there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
