what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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