i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
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