Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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