i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
