her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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