Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
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My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
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Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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