By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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