their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
