Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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