i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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