Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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