my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Randomize
