SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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