Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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