When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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