I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
How external is "for external use only"?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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