She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
