absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize