drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
the raccoons are back...
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