PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Randomize
