We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
